Cartoons used to be awesome. The were so fucking awesome I would watch them over and over again. And now... They are shit. The graph below that I made clearly shows how today's cartoons are complete shit.
AWESOME: Tale Spin
Song? Awesome. Surfing a cloud? AWESOME. A hot MILF-bear beating a dude over the head with a bowl? TOTALLY FUCKING AWESOME!!! Chopping pineapples with a propeller? I CAN'T BREATHE. This intro makes me so excited I want to jump out my fucking window with a pie tin under my feet.
Fucking Shit: The Zoetrope.
This is some cartoon device from the ancient days. It totally sucked! Nobody likes this. There's not even an intro or theme song. Just look at the assholes jumping around like fucking idiots. I want to kick this pile of trash.
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FUCKING AWESOME!!!! Bobby's World
This makes me so happy. Look at him. He is awesome. And his mom is a MILF. His sister runs by in a towel. Amazing. This intro sent me on an adventure. HELL YES.
COMPLETE FUCKING BULLSHIT: Nick Jr. Characters.
AND LOOK AT THIS SHIT! What fuckass decided to put this pedophile's face in right in MY fucking face?! Christ almighty take a step back you orange assfuck, and layoff the carrots.
And this? Who mated the Ren & Stimpy Show animation with Barney & Friends to get Spongebob fucktard Pants? The intro has some perverted old man giving a sea-creature a reacharound within the first 10 seconds. For the love of god. This isn't even America anymore.
Fucking AWESOME: Ninja Turtles
What the fuck happened here? Why are their necks so long you ask? BECAUSE THEY SUCKED DICK FOR THE LAST 10 YEARS.
